The Babymaking Business

2009-11-05T13:12:00.000-08:00

IT'S A BOY!!!
I've not blogged for a while cos I've just been way too busy being pregnant and running a business. But as the heading proclaims - it is a boy.
I'm now 29+4 weeks and found out it was a boy at the 20 week scan and had that confirmed just a few weeks ago at our 4d ultrasound scan.
At the 2d 20 week scan the sonographer showed us his bits but I couldn't see them, I couldn't even see what she was trying to show us. But at the 4d scan I could see his bits very clearly so it's definately a boy.
Now all we need to to do is decide on a name.
Cos I thought we were having a girl I'd only considered girls names and I think boys names can be really quite boring - david, mark, john, derek, graham (sorry if I've offended anyone! but IMO they're boring) but can we think of a cool, un-boring name that won't cause bullying at school? Can we hell.
And so I think he's just gonna be called Sam cos it's the only name we all like.
It's so different to come up with baby names with you have older kids. With the other two I decided and that was it. But this time I've got the 15 year old and 10 year old putting in their choices and nixing every nice name I like and the other half is as bad as me - he's not keen on very many boys names either.
Who'd have thought this would be the hardest part of the pregnancy?!!

I've been really healthy over the past few months. It seemed like as soon as I reached 5 months I got all this energy and it's not left me yet. I'm enjoying, nay loving, being pregnant. I'm embracing my huge belly (getting huger by the day) and loving having this tiny person inside me.
I never feel like I'm alone, cos I've got my wee man with me all the time. It's gonna be really weird when he's born and I don't feel him kicking and fluttering and dancing inside me anymore. I'm gonna really miss him being inside me when he's born.
People keep asking me how I feel and the only truthful answer I have for them is "I feel better than I have done in years". And I really do.
I had no idea pregnancy would make me feel so good.
I was actually really quite worried about how exhausted pregnancy might make me what with having B12 deficiency that makes me quite exhausted when I'm not pregnant. But it's been the opposite.
If I could have the choice I think I'd just stay pregnant forever - and that's not something I ever thought I'd say!!!
Last year if you'd asked me if I'd have more children you'd have got a very definate NO. And now, here I am 7 months pregnant, feeling fantastic, feeling so bonded to my son who is living inside me right now, thinking I'd like to stay pregnant always.
Oh how life changes.
If someone had told me 5 years ago when I met Lee that I'd be having a baby with him further down the line I'd never have gone out with him.
Life truly is quite incredible.
The Babymaker

Some 4d images of my gorgeous little baby boy

2009-09-01T16:06:00.001-07:00

Well, after all the worry and all the needles getting stuck into me it turns out I've not got gestational diabetes! And to get the results I had to phone the midwife cos she didn't think to phone me and tell me I was fine! Turns out that my glucose tolerance test was absolutely fine and now the midwife has no idea why the two blood tests she took showed that I had a high level of sugar in my blood. She suggested that perhaps it was cos I'd eaten something sugary for breakfast or that I was borderline, but the GLT didn't show me as borderline. So I guess we'll never know. I'm just pleased to not be diabetic for the duration of this pregnancy.

Boy or Girl?

I've got my 20 week scan next week on the 9th Sept. And we've decided to find out the sex. I think I'm having a girl and would love for it to be a girl as my partner's family have no girls in it it's all boys. And we just found out today that his stepsister is having a boy. She's due just 10 days before me. So, please, fingers crossed that I'm having a girl. I'll let you know as soon as I know.

4d Scans

Has anyone had a 4D ultrasound scan done? I've been looking into them and I'm going to have one done when I'm around 25 weeks or so. I chosen a company in london called Cocoon4d cos they have the most up to date equipment with their scanner having the highest resolution available on the market. And the 4D dvd you get with baby on it is edited to look like proper movie and you can have the baby's heartbeat as a soundtrack. You can also pay extra and get an ipod or iphone video of the dvd movie! I had a good look around their site yesterday and they seem really impressive. A touch more expensive than the others but I it looks like it'll be worth it. If any of you have had 4d ultrasound scans done please let me know where you got them done and if you felt it was worth the money. And what you think of the quality of your photographs and dvd.

That's all for just now folks. I really must sleep this pregnancy lark is pretty exhausting.

The Babymaker

2009-08-24T16:07:00.000-07:00

I had my glucose tolerance blood tests this morning.

This involved fasting from 10pm last night until 12pm today.

I arrived at the hospital promptly at 9.30am absolutely starving with my bottle of water that's supposed to stave off the hunger for the next two and a half hours!

Luckily I was taken in really, really quickly. Otherwise I may have started to chew on the chairs.

The woman who took my blood was excellent, she was chatty made me feel at ease and took the blood so quickly I barely realised she'd done it. Which is good for someone who's been fainting every time the midwife take blood from me!

Then I had to sit there and drink this yellow (urine-lookielikie) thick, gloopy (olive oil consistency) citrus flavoured glucose drink. I've got to admit it did taste quite nice, if a bit too sweet. But it was really hard to drink it due to the cloying gloopy texture. It must've taken me about 10 minutes to get through the small cup. But drink it I did.

Then I duly went out to the waiting room to wait for two hours until they could take more blood from me.

At first I was quite jittery due, I imagine, to the glucose coursing through my system and felt slightly light headed. Then the baby started jumping around due, again I imagine, to the glucose rushing through me.

I couldn't sit still, I couldn't concentrate on anything all I wanted to do was get up and walk around or talk to someone or just do something, anything other than just there trying in vain to read Heat.

And then, quite suddenly all I wanted to do was sleep. I was exhausted.

If someone had produced a bed I would've laid down on it and been asleep in seconds. I spent the next hour and a half yawning my head off.

Finally it was time for blood test number two which was, once again, painless and over quickly.

Apparently it's normal for baby to move after the glucose drink and other people, although not necessarily pregnant women, have wanted to sleep shortly after having the drink. That made me feel a bit better and less like a freak!

It'll take about 3 days for my midwife to get the results.

As soon as I know I'll let you know if I have gestational diabetes or not.

When I got home for the hospital I took myself straight to bed and slept soundly (some of the best sleep I've had in ages) for two hours cuddled into my gorgeous fluffy big cat.

The Babymaker

2009-08-22T10:35:00.000-07:00

As promised here's my 3 month scan. Isn't it just perfect. Baby's kicking it's legs up in the air and if you look really closely you can see it fingers just beneath it's leg.

If anyone has any scan pix they'd like to share please email them to me and I'll put them on the blog with a wee mention for you too.

The Babymaker

Gestational Diabetes?

2009-08-22T10:23:00.000-07:00

I've been in France for the past two weeks enjoying a wonderful well deserved holiday before the baby comes and changes life forever!

Although my holiday has been slightly marred (just slightly cos I've become quite adept at putting things out of my mind and not thinking about them) by the worry that I may have gestational diabetes.

Just a few days before we left for France I had a midwife appointment and as soon as I went in she rushed me to the couch to take blood without much explanation. Apparently the rush was so she could catch the courier to get my blood taken away to be tested asap.

Later, after I'd fainted and come round and heard the baby's heartbeat (the other half recorded it on his iphone so we can listen to anytime we want), she explained that my previous blood test at just 10 weeks had shown that I had a lot of sugar in my blood and my urine sample today showed sugar in it as well.

Gestational diabetes - which means diabetes that you have just for the duration of your pregnancy and is normally controlled by diet and exercise but can sometimes need insulin - is quite normal in pregnancy but not until mummy is well into her pregnancy. If it's gonna happen it'll normally happen at around 20-26 weeks.

So to be showing sugar in my blood so early is a worry.

This was Tuesday and by Thursday evening I had a voicemail message from the midwife saying that she'd booked me an appointment with the hospital for a glucose tolerance test for the following Monday as my body was pumping out WAY TOO MUCH sugar.

But, of course, I was going on holiday the very next day.

I phoned the midwife while waiting to board the ferry at Newhaven on Friday morning and she cancelled Monday's appointment and has made me a new appointment for this coming Monday.

I get home from holiday around midnight on Sunday night. I can't eat anything from 10pm Sunday night and have to be at the hospital for 9.3oam on Monday morning and I'll be there for around two and a half hours!!!

Initially I wasn't too worried about the gestational diabetes cos as I've said it can be controlled by diet, but my midwife's urgency to get me to hospital has made me worry more than I wanted to. It's also made me quite concerned about what I'm eating and drinking while out here.

I mean, am I harming my baby if I eat a pain au chocolat or drink a full fat sprite? What if I eat too much french bread cos it's a complex carbohydrate and not good for diabetics?

So as you can see it has slightly marred my holiday but in no way has it ruined it. I've had a lovely time, I've relaxed and ready to return to normal life. I just need to get the hospital appointment out of the way first.

Wish me luck...

The Babymaker

PS I've bought some fabulous baby stuff out here and I'm going to be looking into selling some of the exclusive French baby stuff on Toys to You. Has anyone heard of a Doomoo? Or BabyMoov?

2009-07-14T15:59:00.000-07:00

It was three month scan day today!!!

It was amazing.

When I had my other two, all those many years ago, getting your 3 month scan was over pretty quickly. I just saw a picture of the baby on the screen and heard the heartbeat and that was that.

It was over in 5 minutes pretty much.

But this time was so very different.

The sonographer (or snographer as I thought the receptionist said!) took her time with the scan.

I laid on the bed, she put the cold gel on my tummy (it's not as cold as I remember it to be) and she told me to look up to the left and there on the screen fixed from the ceiling was our baby and it was yawning!!!!

My partner and I watched our baby moving inside me for about 20 minutes this afternoon. We watched with open mouths clutching each other's hands as our baby (who is only 7.5cms right now) waved it's arms, kicked it's legs and leaped around.

It was incredible. So incredible I don't think I can find the right words to help you understand how it made me feel and just how wonderful it is to see the baby I know I'm carrying and growing inside me actually moving about inside me.

It is like nothing else in this world.

It is confirmation that our baby is growing well, has a fantastic strong heartbeat and seems happy to be in my tummy.

I was nervous before today just in case I got there and something was wrong with the baby. I don't know why I've been so afraid and nervous with this pregnancy, I just have. Perhaps it's cos I'm older or maybe cos I'm a bit wiser about what can wrong? I don't know for sure I just know that I am quite anxious.

But today has allayed a lot of anxieties.

Our baby's heart is beating great guns, it's jumping around happily, kicking it's feet and waving it's hands in the air. It's even yawning.

It's amazing.

Soon I'll post the scan picture here so you can all see our beautiful baby who is only 13 weeks old and 7.5cms long.

The Babymaker

2009-07-07T08:26:00.000-07:00

Well it's been a while since I wrote and that's cos I've been so, so tired. This pregnancy is really taking it out of me.
But hopefully it'll pass really soon cos I'm now 12 WEEKS PREGNANT!! Woo hoo.
I can now stop taking the folic acid that has been upsetting my stomach every day and I can relax a bit and worry a bit less.
I am looking more than 3 months pregnant but I guess that's normal when it's your 3rd baby and you're my age (38 for any of you desperate to know). And I'm wearing maternity clothes already.
And you would not believe the size of my boobs, or the pain they cause me at night. Cos my boobs are so big - a 36G already (I was a 34FF before I got pregnant so I've never really been that small) - I've got to wear an underwire bra for support and I can't sleep it them. So I'm still sleeping braless but the pain is unbelievable.
My boobs hurt underneath so it hurts when I bend over braless, they hurt at the side so they hart when I turn over in bed at night. In fact they hurt so bad at night that they wake me up when I turn over.
So at the weekend I'm gonna go to Bravissimo in Brighton and get me some of their support nightwear. I'm hoping to get a little strappy pyjama top with built in support (fingers crossed it's strong enough for my boobs!) so I can sleep and turn over without pain.
I'm off now cos Heat magazine is waiting to be read.
The Babymaker

2009-06-14T10:55:00.000-07:00

The baby is absolutely fine!!!!!!

I had another scan this morning at the Early Pregnancy Assessment Clinic and it's still in there with a strong heartbeat.

When the sonographer started the scan I was afraid to look at the screen. I was watching her face as she looked at the screen for what seemed like ages. Her face looked slightly puzzled and then it suddenly changed to a nice smile and she said "There's your baby, and there's the heartbeat."

And this time I could actually see the heartbeat beating away so fast like in double time. Even my partner could see it this time.

And then I breathed out for what felt like the first time since last night.

Apparently the bleeding is coming from my messed up cervix.

I don't know if I've said in any other posts but I had some abnormal cells a couple of years ago and was referred to the gynaecology ward of the local hospital.

All I heard was "cancer" and worried myself sick for the next 3 months.

Only to be told after 3 months in hell that I had some cervical erosions that really didn't need treatment. The stupid doctors gave me the choice of whether to have treatment (which can be painful) or not.

Of course I chose not to.

And now I'm suffering for it.

Apparently pregnancy can cause cervical erosions and it can also cause old (untreated!!) ones to flare it. It's the hormones apparently.

And that's what's happening to me.

The biggest sign that it's cervical bleeding is that it's only happening when I have a poo.

It is with a much lighter heart and a huge surge of excitement that I leave you tonight.

The Babymaker

2009-06-13T13:18:00.000-07:00

I'm bleeding again!!!

This time with a clot right in the middle of the loo paper when I wiped after having a poo.

I can't bear this...

I phoned the midwife again, they really must be getting sick of me by now, and once again she was wonderful. She tried to reassure me by again saying it might be my cervix but she's also made me an appointment at the Early Pregnancy Assessment Clinic for 8.30am tomorrow (sun) morning.

She reckons that while I'm there they'll check my cervix to see if that's what's bleeding rather than anything else.

Midwife also said that this is really common and is most likely nothing to worry about.

But I am worried.

I've spent the past hour in tears. I feel like I'm losing the baby. It almost feels like I can feel it slipping away from me.

I can't think straight, I can't feel properly, I am just being tonight.

I know if I'm losing the baby there's absolutely nothing I can do to stop it, I just wish there was.

All I can do now is wait until tomorrow...

The Babymaker

2009-06-12T06:42:00.000-07:00

So last week I was bleeding and had an early scan and all was fine.

And then last night I went to the loo with a bad tummy, had some serious stomach pains but I knew they were from food not anything to do with the baby.

When my 'bum soup' had stopped I wiped and there was a whole load of bright pink blood on the loo paper and down the loo. And the blood wasn't from my bum, just so you know.

I had no other pain after I'd had my bowel movement. I had no back pain, no stomach cramps, nothing.

I didn't even have any more blood.

I lay in bed worrying and thinking. Then I got my partner to look online on his I-phone (he loves his gadgets!) for "vaginal bleeding after bowel movement".

Turns it it could be coming from my cervix. Or so it said online.

I spent most of last night awake not worrying but trying to take my mind off it by playing solitaire on my blackberry (I like gadgets too) and reading a not too good book.

I fell asleep around 4am and luckily for me my dad took the kids to school this morning so I got a lovely long lie. I was in such a deep sleep I feel great now.

But I knew I had to speak to a midwife about this blood. I know in my heart that if I'm having a miscarriage there's nothing I can do about it, there's nothing I can do to stop it so a part of me thought perhaps I shouldn't bother the midwife.

And then there was the fact that the bleeding only came when I had a poo and there was no bleeding now. Should I phone the midwife?

And then I realised that if this was one of my kids or my partner I'd be on the phone straight away trying to find out what was wrong. And the reason I wasn't calling right away was cos it was for me and I don't wany any fuss and I don't want to be a bother.

So I phoned. I explained the situation. And I also told her that I'd had cervical problems a couple of years ago with erosions and that the doc also said my cervix was either in the wrong place or the wrong shape (I can't remember which! I do, however, remember him drawing a picture of what it should look like and what mine looks like).

And she made me feel so much better.

Apparently all the hormones in my body right now can soften the cervix and therefore it will bleed more easily. And also, the cervix is close to the bowel and when straining sometimes it can put pressure on the cervix and cause a little blood.

She did say that if I was really worried she'd arrange for another scan tomorrow or next week if I change my mind.

But she said not to worry as it the blood is probably coming from my cervix. And if there's not enough blood to fill an eggcup then it's probably not a miscarriage. She also said that if I was having a miscarriage I would probably know.

And I'm so glad I phoned the midwife just to put my mind at rest.

I've had another poo this morning and there was a tiny little bit of blood when I wiped but not much at all so I'm not worrying.

But if it does worry me I'll phone the midwife again and get another scan.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

The Babymaker

2009-06-07T07:20:00.000-07:00

What a week I had last week...

On Tuesday I had wee bit of blood when I wiped after going to the loo and that set off the worrying. And so from Tuesday onwards I didn't really sleep properly due to worrying!

Then during Thursday night I started with some serious stomach pains and lower back pain. Then I went to the loo and there was blood. It was bright red and pink but again not too much. There was nothing on the bedsheets just when I went to the loo which was several times that night.

The pain combined with the worry kept me up most of Thursday night. I think I eventually fell asleep through total exhaustion at around 5am.

As soon as I got up on Friday (which was around 10am and I say 'got up' but I mean woke up and laid in bed) I phoned my midwife who you know I've only spoken to on the phone so far.

Unfortunately my midwife was out of the office so I explained what was wrong to the midwife who answered the phone. She asked me to hold on, went to talk with someone else and came back only to tell me: "You'll have to phone your GP."

I was quite gobsmacked by her abruptness and her total change of tone. Before she'd been really helpful but when she returned from talking to someone else she'd changed into a seemingly different person!

I lay in bed not quite knowing what to do.

Should I phone the GP? Does this warrant a GP's visit? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Will they think I'm a neurotic pregnant pain in the arse?

Bugger it I thought, I'll phone anyway just to be on the safe side.

And so I did only to find out my GP was on holiday!

After more minutes of worrying and wondering I called the surgery again and asked if I could speak to the other GP but she was in surgery. I explained to the receptionist what was wrong and she said she'd get me an appointment with the GP at the end of the day.

I told the receptionist that I was seeing the nurse that morning at around 11 for my B12 injection (I'm B12 deficient) and should I speak to her about the bleeding?

The receptionist said yes and then we could take it from there.

The receptionist was wonderful.

The nurse, however, was of no help cos she doesn't really deal with antenatal care but the receptionist had booked me an appointment for the GP at lunchtime so I just hung about the surgery reading magazines until it was my time to see her.

And the GP couldn't have been more helpful. She arrange for me to go to an Early Pregnancy Clinic scan on Saturday morning and also tested me for a urine infection (I get the results on Monday). She truly was wonderful, she left no stone unturned and didn't make me feel as though I was wasting her time. In fact she made me feel that I'd done the right thing but that I'd not to worry about the baby.

So Saturday morning dawned at 6.30am and off my partner and I went to the hospital.

We got seen at 9am by a consultant who referred me for a scan. She again was great and tried her best to reassure me and make not worry.

Got the scan, which I thought would be quite emotional but it wasn't, cos at this stage it doesn't look like a baby on the screen it just looks like a blob with a heartbeat!

The sonographer confirmed that I am 7 weeks 6 days pregnant (6 days today) and that the baby measures just 1.3cms and that as far as she could tell the baby was fit and healthy and this is a normal pregnancy.

But why the pains? Why the bleeding?

And so back to the consultant who reckoned the bleeding was just implantation bleeding which is when a fertilised egg attaches itself to the wall of the womb. During implantation the tissue surrounding the fertilised egg burrows into the endometrium (the lining of the uterus), forming links with the mother's blood supply and body tissue that will gradually develop into the baby's lifeline for the next 9 months, the placenta. It is during the attachment process that a small amount of blood may be released.

But she had no idea what was causing the pain. All she could tell me was that it appears I'm having a normal pregnancy and not to worry.

But damn have I been worried. It really has been hell this past week.

My partner and I are very similar (although very different as well) in so much as when we're worried we both disappear into ourselves. It works for us because while we're going through what needs to be got through we don't talk about it, we make silly jokes for each other and we touch lots and give reassuring looks but we don't talk about IT.

So we've spent the last few days not talking about IT but knowing that we're together in this and we're there for each other.

Last night we went out for a meal, just the two of us, and then we talked. We shared our worries now that they're over and we made plans for the future and we shared our happiness at seeing our wee blob!

The Babymaker

Our wee blob

2009-06-02T13:48:00.001-07:00

When I woke up this morning I had some pain in my right side low down on my stomach. It worried me but not particularly the midwife has already told me that these pains are probably growing pains.

Then I went to the loo this afternoon and when I wiped there was some blood on the loo paper. I didn't quite know what to do.

Should I phone the midwife? Should I phone my gp? What should I do?

Instead of doing anything constructive I phoned my mum to pick up my youngest from school and took myself off to bed where I promptly fell asleep despite being worried sick.

I've had no more bleeding since this afternoon but I'm still pretty worried, as is my partner who is a worrier. I have had some more pain though in the same place as earlier.

My partner wants me to phone the midwife tomorrow but I'm not sure. What if I'm bothering her? What if it's nothing and I'm just blowing it all out of proportion?

I just don't know what to do...

The Babymaker

2009-06-02T13:32:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you but I'm feeling fat already and now I'm worrying bout becoming fat while pregnant!!!!!!!

What is going on? I've never worried about being fat or becoming overweight. I was always a size 10 or smaller until I reached my mid-thirties when I grew to a 12/14.

I'm just 7 weeks pregnant but already by stomach has expanded as has my waist and none of my clothes fit me - already! Already!

And that's made me even more anxious about putting on weight while pregnant.

What has society done to me?

I should put weight on while pregnant. I should eat to nurture my baby. I shouldn't limit calories or worry about my weight I'm cooking a baby inside my tummy. And that baby is gonna grow and grow and grow and I'll grow and grow and grow. And there's nothing I can do about it.

I've had to have quite a few words with myself to stop the worry. I've had to promise myself that I'll diet and get fit after the baby's born.

But I shouldn't even be considering these things I should be enjoying being pregnant with my third baby.

When I was pregnant with both my other kids I gave not a minute's thought to how fat I got. I was pregnant and I enjoyed it and I ate healthily but what I wanted within reason (ie not pizza every night!).

But as I was much younger and much fitter way back then I didn't show at all with either of them until I was 4-5 months gone. Whereas I'm showing already or I've just got a really fat belly.

Society, stars and magazines have a lot to answer for. I refuse to become a 'pregorexic' and I refuse to let this weight worry take over my life.

I'm fed up of seeing images of pregnant women who are still a size 8 and have only a tiny bump despite being 8 months pregnant. Or heavily pregnant women with huge bumps but no other fat anywhere else.

And I hate seeing pictures of women post-birth who are already back in their size 8 jeans two weeks after giving birth to their precious little bundles of joy who have obviously been handed over to a nanny almost immediately so that mummy can get down to the gym to work off all that 'baby weight'. Mummy's who are unlikely to be able to teach their children how to treat and eat food healthily.

I am a healthy weight, I'm not obese. I am pregnant and must nurture my baby with food. I want to teach all of my children, through my own lifestyle, that food is a must and is what keeps you healthy. That exercise is important for a lengthy life.

So why do I feel so bad for putting on weight while I'm pregnant? I'm not that kind of woman.

Can anybody tell me why I'm feeling like this?

The Babymaker

2009-05-27T07:14:00.000-07:00

I managed to get a hold of the midwife yesterday after many days of phone tag.

I was actually out and about with the kids and phoned her from a shopping centre food court.

I thought the phone call would be short and sweet just arranging an appointment to book me in to see her and discuss my pregnancy, etc.

But no, there I was sitting in a very busy food court (it's half term) with my kids across from me listening to every single word I said (as we all know, little children have very big ears) and the lovely midwife is asking me "Did you have a vaginal delivery..." before she finished the sentence I said "yes". But she didn't hear me and on she went "...vaginal delivery, ventouse, forceps?" forcing me to say out loud in the food court for all to hear "vaginal delivery"!!!

I could feel my face get redder and redder as the words fell from my mouth. The kids were looking at me with disgust (no teenager wants to hear his mum say the word vaginal) until they saw my embarrassment then they burst out laughing at my discomfort.

At that point I asked the midwife to hold on and I told my teenage son to make his way to Game and I'd get him there.

It's easier to talk about these things in front of a 1o-year-old girl than a teenage boy.

Back to the telephone conversation and the midwife has now moved to post natal depression.

I had to admit that yes I did suffer from "that" with my first son.

"How severe was your post natal depression?"

"Quite severe as I didn't get any help for about 5 months."

I can see the questions form in my daughter's eyes and I was dreading getting off the phone to be faced with the barrage.

The midwife explained that I'd not to worry as they'd look after me this time and would be there to help me should it happen again.

But as I was in a busy food court I couldn't, I just couldn't tell her that I'm currently on anti-depressants and that my GP has recommended I continue to take them throughout my pregnancy.

That's gonna have to be something I save for when I meet her.

The embarrassing questions done with the midwife set our first appointment for 24th June! I thought I'd get to meet her this week?!! I didn't think I'd have to wait another month to get to see her and discuss this weirdly new thing I'm going through.

She's also going to arrange for the ultrasound department to get in touch with me for my 12 week scan which will probably happen in early July.

The questions that followed from my daughter put me on the spot and were hard to answer but I managed to answer most of them honestly only resorting once to saying "because I said so!".

The Babymaker

2009-05-26T04:10:00.000-07:00

I don't remember ever feeling this tired in my whole life!!

I go to bed at like 9pm and I lie there awake for what seems like hours and then eventually I fall into a deep, deep sleep for an hour or so then I wake up to pee, then I have to eat something, then I fall asleep again after a wee while of lying staring at the ceiling.

And so my night continues the same until it's time to get up.

And when I get up I'm so exhausted I just want to go right back to bed.

Is anybody else experiencing this all consuming exhaustion?

I've also got unbelievably sore nipples. They're permanently sore. If anything touches them, even the duvet, I'm in agony.

My boobs have already gone up a cup size. I've gone from a 34FF to a 34G and I'm only 6 weeks pregnant, what size are they gonna be by the time I'm ready to give birth!!??

I do have to admit tho the other half is loving them!! But they're so sore he can only look at them - he dare not touch!!

The Babymaker

It's Been A While

2009-05-20T03:55:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a while since I was last pregnant - 11 years to be exact.

And from what I can glean online and from baby magazines it's all changed.

I think, although I won't know until I see my doctor tomorrow (thurs), that I can choose where I give birth (if all goes smoothly). I'm liking the look of a birthing centre which apparently is sort of inbetween a hospital and your own home.

I'm not keen on hospitals so that sounds like the perfect option for me, I guess now I just need to find out a bit more from the doctor.

I've also been told by other pregnant women that my GP will have very little to do with me and tomorrow he'll just send off the urine sample to be tested and then refer me to a midwife and it'll be a midwife I'll see in the future.

I do actually feel like this is the first time I've done this.

I've got two kids already, aged 15 and 10, although by the time the baby comes in January 2010 they'll be 16 and 11. And yet it's all so new.

There was very limited internet access when I was pregnant with my 10 year old and none whatsoever with my teenager. Now it seems I can find out anything I want an answer to online at the touch of a button and a search of google. It's quite incredible.

Obviously, as I'm blogging I know what I'm doing online but because I had no need to know anything about pregnancy and babies I had no idea how much information there was out there.

There are some fantastic forums for expectant mums, trying to conceive mums and even forums that include parenting a teenager such as www.netmums.co.uk.

It really is quite fabulous to have all this information at hand. I'm enjoying looking and reading and learning all this stuff that I had no idea about the first two times.

One of the baby magazines I bought over the weekend even has pictures of what the baby looks like at just 4 weeks.

And I had no idea the first two times round that the doctor worked out your due date from the date of the first day of your last period not the day you conceived. So I conceived on May 1st (how weird is it that I know this?!) but I'm nearly 6 weeks pregnant cos doc takes it from the first day of my last period which was the of 13th April.

I am absolutely exhausted and my boobs hurt. My boobs are big already (FF cup) and I'm dreading what size they'll end up by the time I give birth!!

I think I'll go and have a wee nap now.

The Babymaker

2009-05-20T03:35:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm 6 weeks pregnant and still can't quite believe it...

I'm not a young thing I am 38 and we just started trying for a baby in March and bam a month later I was pregnant!

I was so shocked as was my partner, we thought it would take months and months. We'd decided to try for a baby without much of hope of actually conceiving given my age and my cervical cancer scare a couple of years ago and my hot flushes at period time. And we decided to give it a year. If nothing happened in a year we'd give up and accept we couldn't get pregnant and we'd be more than happy with the two kids I already have and who my partner loves like his own.

But to our shock and suprise just over a month of trying and I'm pregnant.

And it scares me.

I couldn't work out at first why it scared it but now I do. It's because it happened so quickly and so easily.

Because of that I kinda expect it to all go wrong sometime soon.

Every time I go to the loo I expect to find blood. So far I haven't so fingers crossed.

I'm just afraid to be really, truly happy and to believe that this is really happening.

I hope that I make it to the 12 week scan and then hopefully I'll believe it's real and stop being so scared.

The Babymaker